Tuesday, May 19, 2009
deconstructing jewish weddings
"You know Anna," a reverend that I frequently work with on campus told me, "you will probably lose some friends in the process of getting married."
Maybe this is true to a minimal extent, but then again those people probably aren't my true friends.
Indeed, planning for an interfaith wedding is just the tip of the iceberg. Interfaith marriage brings up many questions and requires about twice as much soul-searching. It is also difficult to find good resources on Jewish life for interfaith couples. Luckily, I have found both a supportive congregation in the area where I will be living next year, as well as quite a few mentors in the form of professionals, family members, friends, and excellent books.
No matter what form they take, Jewish weddings are considerably more complicated than the watered-down mainstream Christian ceremonies we often see on television. There are very specific traditions and these carry requirements that include people, resources, and knowledge. Whether or not the wedding is in English or Hebrew, on a holiday or not, long or short, formal or informal--these things all make a difference.
I found this article to be very straightforward. It is like a "Jewish Weddings 101" class in a brief and succinct format. So before I get tangled up with what color kippot to order and whether or not to DIY benchers, I need to spend some time with Fiance discussing what is important to us and how we can include it in the ceremony. Beginning at square one is easier said than done. Weddings have a tendancy to rush you into obsession over the minutia while the really important things get left behind.
Ketubah from Levine Judaica